Where do you fit in? Where do your dreams collide with other people’s reality?
“I miss the misery”
OH oh oh! Don’t I know this emotion, the reality of this song rings true in my brain. These are the voices and words that wake me at night. A thousand nights of never being good enough. Never, ever being what I was expected to be. These words spurned my convorsations with a friend at work. Deny the hurtful words. “I/you/we are good enough. we have value. I/you/we are amazing and wonderful”
It’s difficult to find the word that sear our soul. I only know the words that speak to me. Your words may be different so read them, write them, scream them. Dance and howl with your dog while your find your way. Loose yourself and find all your answers.
In the end I found myself in “Beautiful with you” and “Break In”
So after never finding an acceptable way to be me, I found all I ever needed in a few songs.. I’ll share the journey that finds me HOME, if you’ll read it and come along. I will share all my failures if you’ll cry with me, and rejoice in the success I’ve found. This is more than a BLOG. It’s me bleeding all I have into the words that I write, an attempt to find solice in the Earth and someone who manages to love me when I’m crazy, ignore me when I’m an ass and allows me my indulgence of gardening. While all the while embracing my successes and pretending my failures never occured.
These pages are a diary of my depression when I have nothing to lose and my family who grins and bears it.