Over the last few months my depression has grown to an incredibly overwhelming level. Despite my best efforts, new policies at work have caused a severe pay cut for me. These changes are happening on a corporate level, and have reduced my income by over 50%. This change in my finances has sent my anxiety and depression through the roof. The last two days I would say that I have lost it, quite dramatically (pun intended.)
It is often difficult for a man to make less money than his wife under normal circumstances, although the last couple of months I have been struggling with this very concept. Watching my wife leave this morning utterly exhausted while I was indulging in feeling sorry for myself prompted me to brew extra dark coffee and start my day with a “to-do list”.
Today I decided that I was not going to let my insecurities get the better of me and that I would find a way to rise above the challenges, as my wife has over the last few months. My goals were lofty, and I was unable to accomplish all that I had set out to do today, but it was a start in the right direction. All you can do it take it one day at a time.
Here’s the things I accomplished today…
- I planted a bare root rose, my absolute favorite: a blue moon rose. I managed to finally find one after searching for 3 years!
- Lili’s been learning to ride her bike, and today we made it almost 3/4 of a mile around the park without stopping falling!
- I found 2 leaks in the drip system, and repaired them to keep my watering system working properly
- I cleaned up the backyard, after our pups got into some mischief late last night.
- Finished all the laundry, to Sarina’s delight.
- Cooked dinner.
It turned out to be a great day! I kept myself moving and motivated. I focused on all the things I could control, and surrendered the things I couldn’t. I hope that when you’re having a rough day, you can find a way to turn it around, and see all that good that comes out of being positive and focused.