I have been working on a post entitled “Change is Painful”. It’s not ready yet. It’s still spinning around in my brain. It needed a quick break. So here I am… I needed to get away. I have been reminded lately that I need to spend more time with nature and the family has decided that it is in our best interest to go out of town every other week or at least once a month. This week’s journey would lead us to Flagstaff, Arizona. Specifically a “Lava Cave”. It was a brilliant destination, Sarina had seen it somewhere and we decided we needed something “new”. Get away from past memories and experiences, while bonding and communing with nature. I personally resonate with all of this. I could spend hours sitting underneath a tree and in my daily meditations often envision that I am far away from “here”. I daily envision the rain rinsing away all the “dirt”, “pain” and “negative attachment”. I sit beneath a tree and ground with the earth and find sanctuary alone. The possibility of going into the Earth was something I was was excited about, the fact that the cave was made by lava, also resonated within me. As my personality closely resembles the “fire” traits in Chinese Philosophy I couldn’t contemplate a place I would feel more at home than the “Lava Cave” in Flagstaff, Arizona. The fact that my daughter T came with me only made it better. The place that resurrected our relationship with the people that had made the previous journey. The only disappointment was that my son J wouldn’t be joining us. I put my “Big Girl Panties and Dealt with It”.Even though Sarina wanted to leave the house at 7 A.M. and I was spiraling and in a lot of pain, I was excited to go. I just didn’t listen when she told me how cold it would be an I should dress accordingly. I refused to pack clothes for the weather and decided a T-shirt and jeans was enough. I’m glad I didn’t listen. I wish I could go back to 40 degree weather again today in only a T-shirt.
We drove through, Sun, Rain, Hail, and Snow on our way up the mountain. I battled anxiety on the drive. I was convinced and determined to get to the place that would make me feel right. I wanted to smell fresh air and leave all the “garbage” behind. I wanted to see trees that were older than me and be “lost” in nature. I dreamed of living in the houses with land, I rolled down the windows to feel the cold “bite” my flesh. Everyone was cold in their sweatshirts, I was “happy and alive” in my shirt. Pain disappeared, problems, whisked away in the wind. We finally arrived, in the forest. It was 40 degrees, I was finally happy, I found a huge tree that had a 3 arms, one of them had been cut down, I plopped my ass down on it and meditated. It only takes a moment when this is your ideal place. Surrounded by trees, without people, your phones don’t work, you have that feeling you finally arrived. You know you are free and finally at peace. We packed our flashlights and headed down the trail. We had finally arrived! The mouth of the cave!
For the next hour we were lost in the dark, beneath the Earth and in the cold.
We have to follow our kids.
So armed with flashlights and a sense of adventure we entered the cave.
Beware of Ice!
Down we go into the dark cold Earth.
See the rain?
Down we go!
I tried to stretch!
After getting lost for an hour in the dark and freezing cave we finally made it out.
Only to get closer to the city and find out my other daughter was in a car accident and in the hospital. We wandered Flagstaff awaiting news on her wellbeing. My son was 5 minutes from the hospital, and would let us know what was going on.
The car J was in rolled 3X’s. That’s my daughter J covered in the pink blanket. She had flown from the back seat to the front dash. She “only” had a concussion. There was no other broken bones. As soon as she was able to walk she would be released from the hospital. She was lucky to be alive!
We could drive through rain and snow without needing to be reckless.
Lili passed out right outside Flagstaff.
I had reconnected with nature, I had all my loved ones alive.
Today my life took a spin.
One Day at a time.
Breathe, Believe, Receive….