Focusing On What You Can Do

While trying to heal from my injury over a month ago, it is easy to find myself in despair. I have written about how I was no longer going to talk about the pain and how I was doing. I was going to put on the happy face and hope that positive thoughts would begin to take root and flourish as mt plants do. My mother says I need to repent for lying and while she is not wrong, I feel the need to focus on the good and not dwell on the pain. This is probably one of the more challenging things I’ve had to do. My wife and family seem to be dealing with the brunt of this choice, as old habits are hard to break. ¬†I find it easiest to dwell on the depression and discomfort and my inabilities are the easiest things to do, however, this is not going to get me anywhere. ¬†Another quote from my mother, “You can have a pity party, but don’t be surprised that no one comes.” I think that it is incredible to watch things as they begin to prosper and take shape.

For this cover picture I elected to pick the herbs I take for my anxiety… Valerian Root and Skull Cap.

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Watching things evolve from a dream into a reality is something that always blows my mind. Less than a year ago we decided to reconstruct our garden…

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Now our sacred space looks like this….

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For the last couple of weeks I have been working on the things I can control and the things I can do. I have been teaching my plants to grow vertically rather than sprawl across the ground.

As we further researched companion gardening we found our favorite foods grew well together.

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Although our plans are never perfect, we have found a way to bring life into a space that 2 years ago was nothing but dirt and rocks. Time really flies, I had no idea it had been 2 years that we have lived in this home, what a change, now there is life where there had only been dead space.

Our lettuce grew, our squash, watermelon, zucchini, cucumbers and pumpkins flourished…

‘It’s hard to believe that a month ago this section of the garden looked like this”…

before and after

I find the majority of my day doing nothing but “stretching” and “Physical Therapy” exercises for me is boring and extremely dull. There’s a million things I would rather be doing, however, I’ve promised to only do what I can and stop doing things when I become symptomatic I swore I would stop. So if my posts seem bipolar and a bit psychotic you know why. It’s frustrating to watch my abilities diminish, my life change, my world crumble. Some things just managed to continue to grow…

I may not be able to pull weeds and give a deep massage, however, there are things that I am good at…

Over the last few weeks I’ve learned that I may not be the best father, but, damn it, I’m not a terrible one either. My kids grow up with a sense of humor, wit and sarcasm that makes them a joy to be around as adults. All of my children can respectfully debate their point of view and learn from someone who believes differently than they do. All of my kids have managed to help me complete a job that a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have thought they cared about. Each day they remind me that my value doesn’t depict what I am able to do rather my value resides in what we can do together. I’ve learned together we are unstoppable.

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It’s amazing to me how much I have learned about the saying “It takes a village”, some days it takes a small nation. My kids tease me about getting old and some days I feel a lot older than my 41 years. My wife is always there to gently nudge me a long and give me a swift kick in the ass when I need it. That’s what friends are for! So all in all things have been pretty amazing,

 

 

 

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